AfterShock: 3rd Manic Episode The weeks preceding to the Manic Aftershock I had teetered on the floor levels of bipolar depression, the time period when you see the devastation without denial. The non-scientific illustration below will help you understand post manic depression with relativity in … [Read more...]

A Mother's Journal: Transcribed What I never thought I would say: I am leaving with once my husband for the Watauga Country Detention Center to pick up Justin, who is in jail, in prison." Dear ShaveFace, We are on our way to you, you who is being kept prisoner at Watauga County for your own good, … [Read more...]

I was sedated and put on anti-psychotics within the first 30 minutes of detainment at Cannon Memorial Hospital. The doctor's medication intention was to dilute and kill my psychosis to the breaking point of minimal aliveness with maximum deadness; Mr Ferguson and the trinity, however, it would seem, … [Read more...]

Recommendation Letters These recommendation letters were received during the manic psychosis of 2009, as referenced to in The Blue Journal. Dr. Crain's Recommendation Letter for Justin Schaeffer Justin Schaeffer is an extraordinary student at Appalachian State University and a fine young … [Read more...]

The Blue Journal Preliminary Notation Heads up on this one: I have decided to preserve some of the story as some of the contents within this book range from all kinds of subjects and from different time periods. As you will see on the inside cover page I write: Never to be published or read … [Read more...]

[Written by Justin's Dad] The Great Storm of Justin Rages As I recall, it was sometime in March 2009 that Justin abruptly left Ashley and the apartment they shared. He proceeded to live in his car. I remember a conversation we had at the time in which he proudly talked about being homeless and … [Read more...]

I am three holes. I came back to this: darkness and three burned holes, each representing the people I used to be: Justin, Mr. Ferguson, and ShaveFace—I no longer existed and had lost my purpose and right to live. I made this in June of 2009, during one of my darkest hours of depression, a … [Read more...]

This is ShaveFace on correct side of the glass and this is Stanley Schaeffer as a kitten; my personal documentation of ShaveFace is a supplement to what my mom has recorded for you in her journal. The more perspective the better understanding I think. Mr. ShaveFace is a touchy and tricky subject; … [Read more...]

  Mr. Ferguson: Post-Medication Mr. Ferguson has and will always be a self-portrait. He changes with the tides of self-change; we preserve each other through adaptation. The important thing to look at here is the unprecedented style of beard and nose. Change is happening. The medicine, … [Read more...]

[Written by Ashley] March 13, 2009 - Today, I was confronted when I came home. That you, Justin, are moving out. We are breaking up - you are breaking up with me. Me, your fiancee, your caretaker, your friend -- you are leaving me. You want wings and freedom and you do not want me. You tell me … [Read more...]

The Rise of The Second Coming I understood The Second Coming prophecy foretold by Yeats years prior to my psychotic fulfillment of it in the spring of 2009. I had little knowledge of the biblical precedence, just the poem you will soon read below written by Yeats. On the morning of that day with … [Read more...]

There is so much to blame. You were not dreaming it was real, these things happened face them. Therapists will comfort you with words shedding the responsibility for what you've done, what went down, what you did, what he, they, you did during your episode: "What you have done, Justin, do not accept … [Read more...]

Cannon Memorial with Mr Ferguson Hi my name is "Janice" and I am a "real person." I do not work at Cannon Memorial Hospital. In fact, I don't even exist, just another team member who oversees Block C9. We supervise the patients in there, in Block C9. We feed them, talk to them, watch them, dispense … [Read more...]

ShaveFace: Potential Exhibition ShaveFace is the 2rd persona created during the psychotic mania in 2009. I cannot forget him. I know how he was, what he did, and the terror he caused. I live in those memories--I deal with those memories-- and he is irreplicable, not be me, not by anyone. But the … [Read more...]